Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
