So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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