Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
