Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
