still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
