i dont even know how to be here
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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