The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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