i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Bring me that man meat
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
