am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
