Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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