Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
