Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
