She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
