last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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