i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
