I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
