My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
