ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize