where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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