just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
