I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
