I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
