Christians are straight up FREAKS
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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