We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Text me some of your sweat
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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