You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
