You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
