Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
