I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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