Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
