did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
