I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
