Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
God, I missed his penis.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
