I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
