I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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