Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
