I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
