2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Randomize
