She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
