Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The air was thick with penises
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
