Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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