drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
