If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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