oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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