i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
