We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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