I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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