everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
