I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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