i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
