I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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