I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
