then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My vagina just recognized that song.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
